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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:17
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
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ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
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I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
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To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
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I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
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Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
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There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
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I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
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Men have become the tools of their tools.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
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Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
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Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
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You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
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There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/28/(Sat) 10:02
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